there, a picture of my fish.. but can u see it? lol..


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sigh, was looking thru some of my old cosplay photos.. wad a fun life i used to haf.. so nostalgia.. wanna cosplay again.. but it won't be the same anymore.. bcuz of cosplay, i had tried smthg wild and unbelievable.. i had made new frens.. i had a closer contact wif anime and comics.. learnt how to use a sewing machine and also to sew by hand.. learnt to piece cloths and buttons together to make a dress.. had so much fun being in the limelight... ppl asking me for pictures.. simply having a day of fun n madness wif frens. but it had also allowed me to see the diff behaviour of ppl when u work with them.. mabe it is best not to work with someone u are close to. when u work wif them, tensions and problems are bound to arise. if u cant handle problems properly, u risk losing ur frenship. once in a while, fellow cosplayers in sch recognize me and ask me if i am still going to cosplay. i felt so tempted to join them, but i know dat even if i try to go back, things juz won't be the same anymore. i can onli remain nostalgic.


wad is eternity? it means nothing. after seeing so many adults divorcing and quarreling etc etc, i stopped believing in eternal love. n so i used to think dat bfs are like clothes, there are bound to be better ones. doesnt matter if u tried and missed a couple of good ones. (i suspect it might juz be a form of self protection..) but frens are impt, and will always be with u. now i know dat even frens cant last forever. hopefully some will still stay wif me =p so ppl, cherish whoever u haf with u now.. frens or bfs.. cuz they might not be with u in the future, and u would not wan to haf any regrets in ur life..


now.. all we haf is a fake front. dat we r still close n strong. wad an act. we cant deceive ourselves. we cannot turn back time, we all know dat. it feels painful and sad sometimes, but more like disappointed most of the time.


i used to be so cheerful, outspoken, fun-loving.. i juz dun like sports cuz i'm not good at it. but i forgotten since when, i stop being such a lively person.. i speak onli when spoken to. i became reactive instead of spontaneous. i stopped trying to be heard. to be understood.