weekend is here~! although i haf tuition.. but no work~! XD yippie!~

work has been ok for this week.. boss is considering to let me do lab work! yeah! i onli hope dat it will be good. hehe. i hope he will let huiboon teach me. cuz she is like, a super Lab officer or smthg. she' s veri good at everything lo. everything oso know n remember. super lab officer! lol... i'm so lucky to haf nice colleagues.. unlike when i wasat cdc. well no one was rude or anything.. but juz dun haf that sense of belonging. =)

haiz smthg wrong.. cant upload pictures.. next time den show u all.. hehe cya..




went to watch the Forbidden City on sat.. it was realli nice.. Kit Chan's voice is powerful. the whole show was very touching, and i think it's bcuz it has sung my exact sentiments, things dat i used to ponder abt, values dat i think are important, relationships and trust.

which lead me to the all-time fav qn. wad is happiness? are you truly happy? i would like to meet juz one person who is truly happy. does having a nicer handphone den others make u happy? or mabe ur girlfren is pretty? mabe you are realli clever and you got into one of those famous university. so are you now truly happy? i've realised dat altho there might be things in our lives dat we do actually feel glad to have, we are not satisfied. when you were jobless, u tot how nice it would be to haf a stable job. when u've found a job, you thot abt how tiring the job is. when you were in sch, failing your a-maths, u envied those who could do their calculations and then you vowed to ace ur a-maths too, juz to show dat u can oso do it. but when u got into a JC, you started complaining abt how JC was not meant for u and regretting entering it. when u were single, u wanted to haf a bf/gf like ur frens. but when u found someone u start wondering if this person is really meant for u. (i even heard some guys said they r trapped in a r/s, cannot get out of it cuz it' s aleadi been so long.)

ppl say, 知足常乐. but if it is so simple, where are ppl nv satisfied? mabe its bcuz they r simply not happy. dats why they are still searching?mabe we are headed in the wrong direction, but how do we know dat?

how to know dat...?




today's the 4th day of my work.. and tml will be friday! well i guess it's definitely much better den b4.. everyday, i understand more n more abt my job scope.. more abt my colleagues.. and more abt the environment in order to feel comfortable there..

today n tml, our boss will not be around.. everyone felt much more easier today.. lol.. including me too. if onli he goes off somewhere every week. den all's good n peaceful..

and den today, i watched as huiboon n sophia were doing their expt.. huiboon even let me do some dilutions.. plus some other stuff.. tml they r gg to continue.. but i haf to go hospital.. =( so i guess i cant go for tml morning.. den afternoon need to do data entry at nuh..... sian........ dun get to stay in office... haiz..

cant wait for weekend to come...




ytd was realli realli down... felt soooo upset n afraid n sad abt myself. felt like such a loser cuz my job seems useless..

today when i reached there, was feeling as stressed and sad.. cuz all the patients' forms and data were all over the place.. couldn't even find some of them.. had spent a whole day sorting out... after i finalli finished the harder part of the sorting, the rest was easier.. n i felt much better too.. now i haf a better idea of wad i'm handling... tml.. i'll be gg to NUH... ALONE!! T_T no one's ever showed me how to do it b4 lo... juz throw me there n tell me to do my stuff.. haiz i think this week will be horrible.. i definitely will make tons of mistakes.. hopefully none too disasterious..

the colleagues r nice too. definitely nicer den cdc =p sorri.. but they r realli nicer! huiboon teaches stuff dat i dunno yet.. sophia chats wif me.. n there's this guy who helped me shift the cupboard for the files as i was too short n had to climb chairs.. unlike in cdc -_- they juz watch me as i tiredly lugged the boxes n boxes of files.. such meanie.. my boss is nice too. altho i dun speak to him a lot.. mabe more in the future as i get more involved in this job ba..

rite now.. i'm juz looking forward to the WEEKEND~!!!! cant believe its onli tuesday. i felt like i've been working for a week aleadi! onli tuesday n aleadi so much on my hands.. n bcuz there was a huge time gap between the the previous staff n me.. she quit for a long time aleadi but i onli entered this month.. haiz..

anyway i'm gg to sleep le... tata for now..




its been a terrible day.. the job was ok.. the ppl r quite nice.. but i dun haf a table for myself! even tho i do haf a laptop to use. but i dun haf time to use it lo! i will be at the hospital the whole day, explaining to ppl abt the research proj, n getting ppl to participate. den follow up when they come back. and i dun haf any space for myself either there! i'll juz be a floating poor soul.. homeless.. T_T i hate it when i dun haf a space, a small table to myself.. space gives u a sense of enclosure, privacy.. belonging! sigh.. y cant i haf even a small small table?

and the propects of this job realli looks bleak.. no chance to furthur improve myself at all. all i do is talk to ppl. like PR skills.. haiz.. all i can hope for, is dat i will be given chance to learn a bit of lab skills.. and chance to go for enrichment courses..

mabe i shd work in some HR department. get to talk to ppl, but still get to stay in office. T_T i like outdoor work too but juz not all the time! =(

ultimately depressed.....................................




T____T everybody!!! i'm going to start work next monday.......~~~!!?!?!?!??!!! OH NO!!!!!

still wanna slack somemore.. enjoy doing nothing at home a while more.. but dat will juz make me a useless person rite? haiz. guess i shd juz juz give myself a pat and yong gan de move on! mabe the job is not as bad as i think it is? and mabe the ppl there will be nice? at least i'll be doing real stuff, not temp anymore.

but the thot of having to wake up at 6am everyday, squeezing along wif everyone on the train.. den taking bus.. den work work work until lunchtime! and den work work work till 6pm! (or i hope so) and den continue squeezing on bus 95 to go back to squeezing on mrt.............

....

so y do ppl work at all???????

den again, i haf to remind myself of the poor beggar and skinny children i saw while i was at batam. look at the indonesian maids in singapore who could onli haf one day of rest and hang out at lucky plaza, and not having seen their parents or children for more den a yr. and den continue to think abt all the families who applied for financial assistance while i was at cdc.

i remember thinking "aiyo, why need to apply for assistance? juz go n work la! some ppl are juz so lazy!" now the same thing applies to me! i am juz too lazy!! >_<

blissful childhood is juz so hard to shake off. hmm dat sounds weird, cuz i'm not a child since light yrs ago.. well, life of a slacker is juz too good. so hard to quit it T_T and i'm juz afraid of wads gg to happen to me i guess.. insecurity. fear of the unknown. realised i'm not as bold or adventurous as last time, when i could go n meet strangers n make frens over internet. or go ask for temp jobs w/o fearing abt how it would turn out.. or join some ccas all on my own. or some other outside club activity. and i even preferred to do them w/o frens! now.. i hope to see familiar faces everywhere i go. eat lunch alone oso will feel lonely! haiyo i muz be getting old.




some interesting quizzes!! hehe....

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

i'm young at heart!! wow! haha..

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

i am fickle?? oh no.. but i dun think i am =p haha..




feeling tired.. n when u r tired, u tend to be in a bad mood.. currently mood quite bad too =(

recently watched a movie called s-diaries. after watching, i started thinking abt wad i did in the past, and felt dat i wasted a lot of time.. it was a depressing show. altho the ending was good. it encourages u to move on in life positively.

sometimes i realli hate myself for being the way i am. so wishy-washy. naive. simple-minded. emotional. timid. useless. and always unclear of my own direction. or even wad i wan or dun wan. is there anyone more confused den me?

i think i juz need some sleep. zzzz....




nus called.. ytd afternoon. juz as i was wondering if i shd turn off the silent mode on my phone in case i couldn't hear if nus called me. haha.. gg to see the contract tml.. the pay is realli low.. sigh.. but i guess it's lidat for fresh grads like me... onli hope dat after 1 yr, the pay will increase.. =(

my psle student gonna stop tuition after psle too.. sigh.. loss of another income.. hopefully they will still wan tuition next yr. if not, i guess i gotta start finding another tuition le.. wad to do.. my pay is soooo low. muz add on wif additional income.

anyway, for now, i'll juz enjoy my last remaining days of freedom..




feeling realli happy rite now =)


went to batam for the weekend~!! did a lot of shopping! hehe... on sat morning, we took ferry to batam.. den afternoon went out for lunch.. asked the hotel receptionist where the nearest shopping centre was, and she pointed in a direction. we tot shd be easy to find.. in the end, we went around in circles under the hot strong sun!!! was so tired and sweaty.. doesnt help dat i was having a bad sore throat too.. =( felt veri veri sick.. after abt 1hr or so, we found a restuarant and we decided to go in for lunch. the weird thing was, there was no other customers ard!! kind of weird.. anway, we went in.. asking for menu.. they dun understand english, and we cant understand indonesia T_T

we asked "is there a menu?"
they replied "u can see our dishes. there. u choose. we bring to u".
we were like "huh??"


in the end, wad they do is, they bring a little of each dish to your table, u choose which dishes u wan to eat, den they charge by the number of dishes u ate. so complicated!! haha... after the lunch.. we continued on our search for shopping centre...


after asking the locals there as we travelled along, (mostly in sign language cuz we dun speak indonesia and they dun know much english..) we finalli got to.. ramayana~! the things there were veri cheap! like.. 7 to 10 bucks for a nice t-shirt, or a nice blouse! i bot a denim jacket for like, $13?? i think dats realli cheap! cm bot 2 jeans too, $13 each! and they look like decent jeans. kinda regret not buying more.. i mean, since i was aleadi there shd haf juz bot more hor?? haiz.. after one whole afternoon there, we settled down for dinner.. i ate mee soto for like $1 plus onli.. but it was a veri small bowl. still, it was cheap! hehe


after dat, we walkd ard somemore.. they haf lots of roadside stalls... and we saw a begger.. he looked soooo pitiful.. more pitiful dne any other begger in singapore! realli!! his hand was amputated and he was holding a sleeping child in his good hand. well its not realli his hand dat made me feel sad for him. it was dat he was soooo skinny, and looked so sad!

after looking thru the stalls (and being asked at least 1000 times whether we wanted taxi), we finalli decided to go back to hotel.. our feet were too weary to go on... on our way back, we passed by Mac's, and decided to get an ice cream. cm said the ice cream there was creamier than ours. honestly, i couldnt tell the difference. =p it was nice to me all the same hehe.. anyway the set meals there looked realli interesting. so we decided to go there again for lunch the next day.


after we reached hotel.. i felt feverish.. took panadol and went to sleep..the next morning, we checked out right after breakfast. went exploring again for more shopping centres. this time, wif more specific directions from the receptionist, we managed to find the place quite easily. the shopping centres were.. CentrePoint and Lucky plaza! haha.. same as ours hor...in fact, the lucky plaza realli was similar to our lucky plaza!! accounts for the phenomenom which occurs at Lucky Plaza every sunday ;p

there wasnt much to buy from there tho.. cuz not veri cheap.. could be bot at sg too.. so we nv buy much.. i bot shoes.. and he bot a jacket.. oh n we had mac for lunch!! there was rice and also soup in the set meal! soo interesting rite?? hehe.. will post a photo for u all to see.


after dat, we went to batam centre, walked ard a while, ate dinner, and came back to sg on ferry. so tired, but so contented. it has been a realli realli nice and special weekend =)