there're days when the time seem to be passing by soooo sloooowly... tooo sloow... ... ... zzzz... zzzzz... and this week seems to be full of these days. trying so hard to get pass this week! >_<

and i feel a bit sick.. so irritating. like the flu bug is juz nesting inside of me. but juz wouldn't blow up.. in the end i keep having blocked nose.. headaches.. feeling tired n sleepy.. sore throat.. and cough once in a while. but juz didn't get sick enuff to take an mc! T_T or shd i juz go ahead n take one. =( my boss out of town leh.. if he juz left the country and i go take mc... will be like i'm eating snake rite.. haiz.. dunno la.. juz hope sat to come soon~!!! den next week will be my dreamweaver course~! after dat is v day~ den cny! den after dat i'm gg for photoshop course again~!! so happy.. hee hee.. hope can learn smthg out of them. but hweebs say dat gg for these courses will put me in deep trouble.. cuz boss will ask me to do websites n posters liao.. uh oh... aiya. i juz do a super ugly one for him den he'll know i juz dun haf the talent in me. hahaha.. i always fail my art in sec sch one leh.. =p

ps: i take back my words of all docs being dog shit or wadever. apparently, there are some nice docs around too! haha.. if onli there were more of them.. but i guess i shd juz be thankful for the few nice ones =]

ok.. think i'll go sleep early tonite.. zzz..




ytd, we were feeling a little explorative.. and we went marine parade to find laska.. in the end.. cm couldn't find the place.. cuz u know wad? the last time he went there was when he was 7 yrs old!! then still wanna go find it.. TOO daring aleadi la! in the end... we drove for super loooong.. b4 settling in katong... ate 328 laksa... den walk walk walk.. and found tau kua pok (yummy..) at this tiny old-looking shop call "Mary Corner". sold by this super thin lady.

after dat, we continue walking... exploring the place... a lot of 'dat kind' of girls lo.. all wear so little... cuz the place is near quite geylang >_< after dat decided to eat dessert at this shop selling snow ice.. not bad la...







i found this veri meaningful phrase by chance on one of the forwarded email i received..

"If I have to leave you, I want you to know that in the end, it wasn't because I stopped caring, it was because you stopped being a friend." -unknown-

how true..

anyway, today was another tiring day.. i went to work veri veri early.. reach office ard 7.50am.. den started to do the data excel spreadsheet.. in the end not required at all cuz the online database is still not ready for uploading! den ask me to do so fast for wad? waste my time!

den at 1st veri worried abt my tuesday journal review presentation. now i juz wan it to be over soon! heck la i'm not in sch anymore. no grades anyway. =(

hope can finish the slides by tml so i can play on sunday..




my slacking days are over.. my work is killing me now.. everyone is expecting me to do so much things for them. and they all keep telling me "it's alright if you can't (...........wadever they wan me to do.....), you've done well enough aleadi!". talk about knifes in smiles.

but the most infuriating thing was when RoS brought her over to TEACH me all dat i've taught her when she came. how ridiculous can he get? of cuz i ask the doctors personally in the same manner. he juz keeps asking me to try harder! crazy old man. it's so obvious dat i had so much more recruits than her. wad more he wans? and when i go ask him, he thinks i'm bothering him. when she go ask him, he thinks dats such a great idea? mabe he's juz lusty cuz she got bigger B**BS? i haf nothing against her of cuz. she's veri nice n friendly to me. it's all abt doctors! recently there's this taiwan drama abt doctors? and they starred a veri handsome doctor? well dun be fooled everyone!! all doctors are s0 stuck up in their noses that they cant smell the dog shit on their feet. so dun go too near them unless u wan dog poo too.

i cant wait to quit this job. altho i haf to admit dat it's starting to get more challenging. not as mindless as b4. if onli they would get off my back. hey they only pay me so low can? y ask so much from me?! increase my pay by 1k and i'll consider doing it for them!
@$&!^%@#&^~!%&$@%!^#$&@

=)

well, it's back to another week of work until my next weekend! hope it will pass smoothly and quickly..!

nothing much to blog abt.. except the constant worry abt my work.. and $$! sigh. i realli shd cut down on expenses. getting fatter too. muz eat lesser..

and smthg dat caused me to haf deep thots abt:

after u had some unhappiness with a fren, and u both got angry, u wouldn't speak to each other until someone says "sorry" or "it's onli a small matter, let's not get angry over it" b4 u will start speaking to each other rite? i'm not even talking abt being forgiving or selfish here. i'm juz saying dats the normal reaction of a person. am i wrong?

and during a gathering, if dat fren speaks normalli to everyone, including u, u would think she has gotten over dat incident, dats y she is speaking to u again. rite? but wait, i'm wrong, she has not forgotten nor forgiven (ah yes, like u are the Queen) me. she's juz being nice and self-sacrificial to talk to me like everything's ok.

and then, when i realised dat things are far from being ok, i felt so disgusted! she had made it clear dat she's still angry dat i wasnt at her side during the last month of her awful break-up. (even tho i was there for her since sec sch? i knew abt all her troubles, help her by giving her advice. i've nv cared abt nor did so much for another person b4 in my life. and wad do i get? "i'm so disappointed in u for not being there for me" well u know wad? dats fine!) u know wad? u had disappointed me greatly during ur awful break-up, after ur awful break up, and after i got attached. and during a few of our rare gatherings. AND u disappointed me greatly again when u said u will mind if my bf comes for the dinner, even after i told u i wanted to introduce him to the people i treated as my own family.

ok i'm off the point. why am i disgusted? i'm so disgusted bcuz she could still talk to me like normal whenever she wants to ask me smthg, either to borrow smthg or to arrange a gathering with other frens! feels like she can make herself put up a false front to talk to me juz for the sake of doing it. lately she's asking whether i wan to go to play board games. actualli i know that she juz needed to haf more kids in the outing, thus inviting me to bring my tutee along! I didn't know a hypocrite until i saw one for myself. and it was so bloody obvious. dun pretend like u r the victim when u r in front of me. i know ur true personality. it hurts even more to be knowing. i would rather be in blissful oblivion abt ur true selfish way of thinking and believe that u actualli are talking to me and asking me out from the heart of a true fren. and pls, pls for goodness's sake, stop pretending u r some mature and noble being by making urself forgive me and stooping so low as to talk to me again.

wadever bitter feelings or hatred u haf for me, pls be reassured that it's mutual, and by the double. return me all my years of effort spent on some idiot who claimed to be my fren in the past.
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ok, now other stuff.. lately, after having suffered some humility from work, i realised who are the people i can realli count on. they are my family, my frens, zy and xm esp, and cm. in the past, i found myself too ugly, too short, and too stupid. i was convinced it would take an idiot to love me for who i am. but xm always told me i'm veri nice and will find someone who appreciates me. i will always remember dat girl. =) and then i started looking for the one for me. but i realised dat the more i seek for love, the more it eludes me. things nv happen the way i wan it to. i seemed to haf a wrong perspective abt wad a bf shd be, and i nv found the one i like. (jus so u know, i had some suitors too ok... =p) and den, i became with the person whom i nv ever thot i would be with. the guy whom i used to regard as flirty, slacker and spoilt son of some rich parents who nv experience hardship. now i know dat i was so wrong. he is a hundred times more mature than some of the people around me. these juz show dat when u truly believed in someone, she may turn out to be a total selfish brat. however, those whom u thot were a bad egg in the basket, they turn out to be the ones with u in the end! anyway, my point is, even tho so much unhappy things had happened to me in the past, things turned out fine, and i'm glad for being who i am, and you for being who u are. =)
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i've more things in my mind. but i'm too tired to pen it down. i haf to get some out of my head in case it explodes from keeping too much to itself. =) thanks for reading!










this post is for the piggy with a adult body yet a child-like brain:

i can see dat u r gg thru a lot in ur life rite now. there are things in life dat u muz experience, and unfortunately, pain n hurt are among those things. 1stly, u haf to deal with ur sch work. always plan ur time carefully. it's hard to meet up with frens during sch term, esp when there's projs. dats how frens drift apart slowly. but sadly, u cant compromise by reducing ur time on working.. it's veri tiring n difficult, but i'm sure u can do it! dun forget, you muz be responsible for ur actions. u can be lazy and irresponsible once in a while, if it doesnt affect anyone else. however, if it involves someone else (ur mum, ur frens, etc etc), take up ur responsibility. remember, respect is earned thru lots of hard work yet lost due to 1 mistake.

2ndly, sometimes anger is the most powerful driving force one needs. if ur frens think u r useless, stupid and uncapable of doing things, prove them wrong! prove them wrong by working harder and showing them results of ur work! solid proof of ur work is always the greatest shield one can haf.

3rdly, always remember. any fren can become ur foe. even the guy who used to love you very much. even ur best fren from pri sch or sec sch. Anyone. altho u dun haf to be on ur guard to everyone, u do haf to learn not to put ur trust in everyone. and learn how to recover from the pain caused from the betrayal.

4thly, after every quarrel, always rem dat words said in times of anger shdn't be taken seriously. altho there is still a certain truth to it. like "i hate u for doing this!" she probably realli dislike u doing that, but mabe not to the extent of hating. also, try to find a reason as to why a person is angry at you. if you can find a reason, then try to correct the problem u haf caused. becuz once u tried to think and feel from others' point of view, u will understand more abt how the person felt, and u will know wad to do. other people can be selfish, but not us, ok? =)
if u cant find any reason as to why some one is angry at u, well, u dun haf to bother abt him/her anymore. come on, u haf ur rights!

5thly, always keep this in mind. no one understands abt urself more than you.. no one knows wad u want except urself. u r the most impt person in ur own life (however, dun turn into a selfish brat). so u muz make decisions for urself, take care of urself and remember ur own rights. dun let anyone compromise u. u haf to love urself b4 anyone else can love u!

6thly, go and buy a copy of Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom from any popular bookstores. it will be a comforting and touching read abt life.

u r not alone girl. let's explore life together!




had a veri bad day today.. kenna scolded by a crazy menopause doctor in the clinic. =(

i wanted to recruit 2 of her patients, but they came very early and it was their turn b4 i could talk to her. so i knocked and asked for her permission when the patient came out. but the patient refused. so i tot, well juz try the following one, as i'm not supposed to force them to participate. i knocked n went into her room again to ask for her permission to speak with the next patient. in the end, she scolded me "if i had 10 patients, are you gg to knock 10 times??" and much more. all ridiculous crazy screaming abt wad i shd do and wad i shd not do. but it was veri impt for me to obtain permission 1st. besides, i was supposed to wait till she ask the patient for me, then i juz pass them to sign consent form and explain to them in detail abt the research! i wasnt supposed to talk to them by myself at all lo.

shamefully, i cried. i know it's too childish of me, but i was very tired dat day and her crazy ranting made it worse. but it made me realised dat everyone else were on my side instead of hers. all of them were not surprised dat she threw a fit. cuz they all seen b4 aleadi. i went back and sent an email to her and both my bosses too. my boss said i did the rite thing and asked me not to think too much abt it. he's consoling me rite?? i knew he'll understand wad happened. =)

anyway, i aleadi haf 3 new patients for this week. which i think is not bad. this job is turning out to be a bigger n bigger challenge as the days pass. but i dun realli wanna stay in this for long.. hopefully i can find out which labs are hiring, so i can jump soon. altho i like my boss n colleagues veri veri much.




saw the photo collage at huiling's blog.. so nice~~ i oso wanna learn how to make~ thus the following attempt... i know, i sux.. T_T

yeay~ enjoying my break!!! if onli i dun ever haf to work again... =p

on tues, me n family went to harbourfront to haf dim sum again.. there was this big ship that had sailed in all the way from Sweden! so cool! but haf to pay $10 to go aboard to haf a look. well we went in.. haaha.. the ship was veri nice.

today went to ktv *yeay* and den shopped at bugis village wif my sis n cousin, shiya. we spent a lot!! it's quite scary. esp me >_<;; but cant help it! actualli, i dun realli realli realli wan some of the things veri veri much. but i juz felt like buying. haha.. nvm i think they are all good buys =) and i realli enjoyed myself shopping wif them..!!

have a happy new year~~