v day is over.. and mid term break is coming.. i can see the CA dates and assignment deadlines looming over me.. -_- but i cant help but keep feeling dat its still hols.. muz start mugging >_<


so how's everybody's V Day? still alright? mine was ok. din go anywhere, juz stayed at home, but still a nice evening =) went for a movie last nite. the movie was great but cant say it was an ideal show for a romantic nite. 1st, a couple broke up cuz the girl find the guy too poor and useless. den a mother got cancer and died, leaving behind a heartbroken husband and a terribly lost boy. another girl with burnt scars finally gathered up enuff courage to show her face to her crush, and she got rejected. finalli, the grand finale, a fireman died in a fire while saving others, on the very day he decided to propose. and wad did he do? he recorded a "I love u forever" video b4 he got engulfed by the flames. all the romance in me juz got killed at dat time =(


and the show reminded me of how ah ba passed away when i was in pri 4.. i too witnessed how his body weakened day by day.. from his loud hearty laughter to his soft struggling whispers.. his huge comfy arms to his fragile and withering skin.. although i had been to funerals b4, dat was my 1st time encountering death of a loved one. it took me weeks b4 i could cry. i can still picture in my mind, him lying on his bed, looking so in pain.. and i remember him telling me,

juz went back to visit ah sim again for cny.. she looked older, paler, thinner, weaker. still cheerful nonetheless. but it hurts me to see her grow old. and it scares me too. she juz had an operation to clear her blocked heart veins.. i cant bear the thot of her leaving this world one day.. i love her more den my own grandma. each time i visit her, i feel remorseful abt not visiting her more often. she used to take care of me like her own grandchild, treated me with so much love and tenderness. mabe my mother was too pre-occupied with my newly-born sister, she was my source of warmth, comfort dat i sought when i cried, and her arms were the safest haven where no one else can find me. at dat time, i must've loved them more den my own parents.


now how am i to get to sleep -_-